Letters to a Wriggler.
Letter the second.

Well. Just… well.

That I never saw coming. Okay… you have a sister! I thought you would be our first-and-only, but apparently fate had other ideas. Of course you’ll know Nepeta, she probably entertained you while your mother and I were busy elsewhere… (what did you expect? It’s not like we have a cinema to send you off to! Or do we? Gah, writing letters for someone who hasn’t even taken their first breath yet is seriously confusing, sometimes)

She just turned up one day, not long ago either, and suddenly… I don’t even know. She was just so fucking adorable right from the off. She’s 9 sweeps old, too, so it’s not like she’s even a kid, but…

Sorry about that, I had to go take some insulin, thanks to Nepeta. Anyway. So yeah, bam! Right the hell out of nowhere she drops in and immediately, and I mean *immediately*, she’s one of the crew. It usually takes a perigee or two for someone to properly integrate, y’know? Not your big sis, oh no! She just fit in like she was meant to be here. She’s a riot, too… all fun and energy and good cheer. There’s a dark side to her story, of course, but she’ll probably tell you all about that when she wants to and Dad’s not going to spoil it for either of you. She also got on with Kannus immediately. Uhhh… he’s going to sort of be my son-in-law now, isn’t he? Urgh, this human idea of ‘family’ sure is weird and confusing…Well, you know Nepeta about as well as you’re ever going to, so I’ll leave off with her. Kannus, now… He needs a bit of background I think.

Kannus, like most of us, just showed up one day. He was here for… not long before he was in Gamzee’s lap, and from there, well, I’m not telling you. After that it gets messy. The problem with Kannus is there’s a whole pile of him. Four last I looked and probably at least a few more by your time. He just keeps… splitting, like the trousers of time, except both examples of him stay in our Hornpile, so eventually the whole place will be overrun with Kannus. He is also a ridiculous flirt, barring any relationships. On the more technical side, he’s pretty good with science and machinery (though not quite the equal of another relative of yours, hehe) and did I mention fast? Guy can move, I know, and he’s no slouch with that Kukri of his, I have the scars to prove it… That’s all you can say about Kannus in general, there’re too many of him to really get a good sample of traits from across all examples.

Since I seem to be fixating on my ‘family’, I suppose I should carry on with the theme and work my way out from there. Who next, Uncle Karkat or your Auntie Cal?

Let’s run with Your Auntie. Somewhere along the road, she died. She used to be identical to your mum, but… well, like I said, she died. Death changes people, and not just in the most obvious ways. Before I met her in her new incarnation Dave (the albino) got his claws into her and that was it, our Matesprit status just vanished. We avoided eachother for a while, me out of guilt, she out of heartache, until a little way back. We decided to try Moiraillegiance, and it’s looking hopeful I have to say. We share a lot of the same sort of humour and I can enjoy her company with no pressure to be on good behaviour (your mother just brings out the best in me). She’s also easier to talk to, but that’s probably because I’m not second-guessing my words. All in all Auntie Cal is great, and I’ve no idea why we didn’t go Pale earlier.

Uncle Karkat. What is there to say? Used to be Lord Karkat, before I got my head screwed on straight, but that’s another story. My little brother is pretty chill, in a loud-and-obnoxious sort of way. He was already here when I arrived, which isn’t something I can say about many residents, he’s a “founder-member” of our embryonic nation, one of the handful who used this asteroid to escape into the Furthest Ring. Guy’s a whiz with Romance advice, too, so if ever you need an ear to pour your Quadrant problems into, Kar’s the man for the job. He’s also sick in my time, terminally so, so… I dunno, I can’t explain it all in a sitting, but ask me about him sometime. We’re doing our best to save him, though, me, Kannus and Feferi. Oh yeah, it was him that got me and Auntie Cal together, pale-wise. Did I tell you? I’m sure I did. Moving on.

Well, sort of. I’m appending your cousin Kellen. He was conceived by your uncle on a human called John. Do you know John? We haven’t seen him in forever. Anyway, so yeah, your cousin is a hybrid, which… we’re not even sure what that’s going to even mean for him in the long run. He’s a big hit with the ladies already, though.

Anelie. She’s not a member of the family, per se, but I reckon she deserves a mention. As Kannus’ Matesprit (sorry, one of the Kannus’ Matesprit) and your mother’s Moirail she’s had a fair impact on me during my time here, and all of it good. I can’t even remember if I was here first, so she goes back a good long way around here. I remember first meeting her, fragile as a snowflake, gentle as the breeze and timid as a mouse. So not my type, but really cute and sweet anyway! Of course, Kannus got hold of her and that’s done her a world of good, helped her out of her shell, and you mother’s given her a lot of self-confidence. She’s still all sorts of nervous around new people, though.

I suppose I have to include Braire, don’t I? Dear Jegus, how I detest that rotten bigoted fu… anyway, yeah she really does my nut. She’s steaming hot and knows it, and there’s nothing she won’t stoop to to get a rise out of me… if you want to learn how to make someone hate you fast, Braire’s the expert, sure enough. The bugger is she’s so… sure of herself, like the blood-obsessed system she was a part of is somehow reasonable! On top of that, she’s an expert in backing me into an ethical corner and forcing me to betray my own morals… I’m just reiterating here, aren’t I? See what I mean? Even now she’s driving me nuts. I am so glad she joined us here in the Pile.

Now I can’t think straight. Great, Braire fucked my mind up again. I need to go… beat up a robot or something. Guess what, monster? End of letter, go on, bother you cousin or something.

I’m not even joking, nothing more to see here. Dad’s off to work out some aggression, see you next letter.